Why you never put a window in a shower
by Xeaeros
Summary: Hey! I finally have a new story out. And trust me. The majority of you will love this. This made most of my friends laugh and it is almost impossible to do that. So enjoy!


Disclaimer: I don't own Harvest Moon. SO BACK OFF!  
  
A/N: Well now. I guess I have to give some background info. This story's based off of this one trick in Harvest Moon 64. If you get a bathroom extension, and then get into the shower, you'll see a face in the window. That's where I got the idea. Oh yeah, anything in parentheses like this, (), is the narrator speaking. Shower Windows It was a sunny day in Flowerbud Village when Jack woke up  
and realized that... "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! The evil flying monkeys are invading my farm and flying off with my livestock!" (Huh? That's not it.) "Sorry." (It's okay.) "Today's my wedding with Karen! I'm going to have to take a shower." So Jack walked into his bathroom and  
jumped in the shower. Then he turned around and saw...  
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! A giant's destroying my house!" (NO! There are no giants in this story. And  
stop interrupting.) He saw the herb guy in his window.  
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! A  
perverted herb guy is looking at me while I'm in the shower!" So Jack jumped out of his shower, put his pants on, ran outside just in time to see the herb guy run off his farm. So Jack jumped on his horse. Suddenly, his horse stopped. "Darn! Can't get off my farm while I'm on my horse. On foot  
then!" So Jack jumped off of his horse and began to chase the herb guy through town. "Get back here you perverted freak!" Jack shouted, making all the townspeople stare at him strangely. Well, at least everyone except for  
Popuri. She just drooled at the sight of Jack without his shirt on.  
Anyways, Jack chased the perverted herb guy all the way to his house. Unfortunately for Jack, the herb guy got inside and locked the door before  
Jack could get in. "Dangit! He got away!" Jack suddenly noticed that he didn't have his shirt on. "Hey, I don't have a shirt on!" (You idiot! I've already pointed this out to the reader's!) "Ooops." So Jack turned around  
to go back to his home and came face to face with none other then. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! It's the Apocalypse!" (Will you just let me tell the story!?!) "Eeep!" It was  
Popuri. (Okay, so maybe it was the Apocalypse.) "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Run  
away! Run away!" So Jack ran all the way back to his farm with Popuri chasing him. Fortunately for Jack, he got inside and locked the door before  
Popuri could get in. "Dangit! He got away!" Jack went back into his bathroom, boarded up the window, and took another shower. Then he got ready  
for his wedding.  
At the wedding, things went fine till the creepy preacher dude started. "Does anyone have a reason why these two should not be wed?" He said. "I do!" Popuri shouted. "Anyone besides Popuri?" "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttttt!" "Who said that?" Jack said. It was none other then the herb guy. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Jack shouted. "What is your reason?" the creepy preacher dude asked. "I love Jack!" "See! I told you all he was a perverted gay guy! You didn't believe me, but I showed you all! He's the reason I'm a homophobic!" "What the frickin' heck is that!" Maria shouted. Everyone gasped at the words they never expected to hear from the shy girl. "It's a person who's afraid of gay people." Karen answered. "Please, just get him away from me!" Jack shouted from his hiding place behind the organ. So the shipper dude and the carpenter's helper peoples dragged the perverted herb guy of the premises. "Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" The herb guy shouted as the people dragged him out of the church. "Decrepit old freak!" the shipper dude shouted as he threw the herb guy as far as he could, which was pretty far as you can imagine. So anyways, the wedding went off without any more disturbances, with the minor exception of Popuri trying to murder Karen. So they finally said the 'I do's' and Jack took Karen back to his house where they did stuff that newlyweds commonly do. (*Winkwink*) Then they fell asleep.  
In the middle of the night, Karen heard a noise. "Whazzat?" she said groggily. Slowly, the room came into focus. And standing right in the middle of it was. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! It's Shania Twain!" (Oh no, not you too!) It was the herb guy. And he was holding Jack's dog. "Jack! Wake up!" she shouted. "Whazzamatter?" Jack said bolting up so fast that the sheets flew across the room and trapped the herb guy. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Haunted sheets!" Jack shouted. "No you idiot! They aren't haunted. They're just covering that perverted herb guy." Karen said. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Tainted sheets!" "Just catch him before he escapes!" Karen yelled as the herb guy managed to free himself and bolted towards the door, still holding Jack's dog. So Jack repeated the process that had started just that morning, complete with frozen horse and drooling Popuri, minus the pants. (Scary, isn't it?) "Dangit! He got away!" So Jack looked in the window to see if he could find his dog. What he saw scared him. The herb guy was forcing his dog to do stuff that newlyweds commonly do. And to make matters worse, the herb guy was taking off his pants! "Aaaahhh! I've been blinded!" Then Jack remembered a trick that he had taught his dog. He whistled, and his dog came flying out the window, Rambo style. So Jack picked up his dog and turned around to go home. He came face to face with none other then. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" So another process repeated itself, complete with drooling Popuri, plus dog. So Jack ran all the way home with his dog, thinking he would have to put Popuri in an asylum and that he and Karen would have to adopt Stu and Kent before the herb guy molested them. So when he got home, he talked to Karen about it. Of course, Karen didn't need any urging after Jack told her about the hideously disgusting sight he had seen. So Popuri and the herb guy went to live in an asylum, Stu and Kent came to live with Karen and Jack and began to learn the art of farming, and everybody was happy. At least, almost everybody. Popuri and the herb guy weren't too happy with the arrangements.  
The End 


End file.
